i’ll have you scared to death

there’s so many things in mind. no, they never change. its always packed and hectic and full of things. things ive said or things tive hide or things ive told some and others dont. they’re accumulating, overhwhelimg, too many, too much but what can i say? im not a normal person you think those plastered smiles meant happy ending. or perhaps i stood there looking calm when the thoughts are doing somersaults in my head, tiring and wearing me out, i swear i could die. die of exhaustion. and with new year tmr, whats new? ive been like this two years and then things still remain. whats good about new year? perhaps, a brand new chapter begins. but for me, it’ll never be a brand new chapter if the condition im living on is the same, no change, just stagnant, still treated like 8 year old when im 18. so whats new? take it back at your face. i dont want to hear brand new year or what ever shit. its gonna be the same damn cycle and only i know it. you’ll make friends, you’ll lose friends, you’ll have enemies, you’ll have cruelty, you’ll have lovers, you’ll have flirts, you’ll have backstabbers and liars and pretenders and happiness and sadness and excitement and new environment. but isnt that the same all year round?

2010, if it wasnt commando, there’s nothing else in my mind but dreadful year.

same cycle just different day.

Add a comment December 31, 2010

pinky and barbie doll-ed 18th birthday

i think my post title is ironic. 18th birthday? pink and barbie doll? (hehe still in mood for GP? nah!)

anywaaaaaays, its end of the week, and its back to mugging again for upcoming papers. thank Allah swt for planning to put my birthday on a friday so that i could take a short break to celebrate and get back to work on weekends. syukur alhamdulillah

so, GP is done (and no, i am not commenting what its like), MATHS is done (oh man, i’d rather do maths all the way… boo) and chem paper 3 is only a journey.

besides all that, i turned eighteen already. cant convey in words how my heart was the night before, as heavy as a stone. perhaps, i had something between me and god that i hoped things change for the better after turning a year older. i ought to thank god for allowing me to live up til this second while im typing the post.

18th birthday. because i love the colour pink and because i love barbie dolls but never own one when i was young, my friends sort of brought those memories back and made an ironically 18th birthday. which means, i think it sounds like an eighth year old birthday? haha. so what? i love it anyway

commando hero was a sweetheart coming in ribbon and i dont know why i never carry him along home since he is the present right? THEN the surprise in the locker. haha, BLUE. its because i said something that is blue is very nice…i kinda got it in BLUE. hahah:) afterwhich math paper. then, the surprise.. like the cake. it was omg, so sweet got my picture and li hui and noval in it! haha also, the cake smashing. (i cant believe this happened). then, the floorball girls cake. (i was like omg haha so sweet). then, i had to shower because its was ewwwwwww oily with the cake.

then i cant believe i met fza love. omg, i swear, the blindfolding was a karma getting back on me man. it was super scary as i had to walk in total blindness and commando hero was really rough but nice to carry me ard at certain places. i thank Allah once again for giving me eyesight. besides that, i got nice perfume and its pink too! and fza love gave me a customized board. got our pretty pictures on it hehehe and and just quality time with commando. after which, my bestie dropped by my place and gave me her own handmade cake. so sweet. thank you dear. and my mum cooked nice food, my family gave me cake, pink also! strawberry shortcake hehe. and thats about it.

125 birthday wishes on fb.

wonderful friends to send personal thanks to.

and the one and only commando hero. who gave me 1000 puzzle on the 9th. and who constantly carries me over puddles and grass patches. love you bits to pieces luv.

thank youuu to these people for making my 18th birthday a memorable one

<3

P/S: i wanna go gym with pink top and BLUE tmr hehehehehehe

Add a comment November 12, 2010