tired

pinkhearted — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 05:52:24 +0000

ive lost it.

dont look back in anger

pinkhearted — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 01:55:50 +0000

i’ve been drowning myself with books and music and gossip girls (oh the thought just made me crazy cause i wouldnt mind watching it all over again and again and again!) and bed (because headaches have been too often occuring up at work lately)

headaches hasnt been this bad all my life. usually just once in a while. instead, it happened for 4 days in a row this week. from work to home and even acting up again despite sufficient sleep. worried i am but ive told myself to stop taking panadols. its not good but i cant help it. good thing at home ran out of it or else i’ll be overdose. anyways, gotta check up on it soon if it acts up again. been skipping gym all because of headaches. it sucks. but back to gym after 3 days, it was finally nice to feel loose and sweat again

been worried about finances. need to cut down on some expenses. even have to give up going floorball today on a brighter note, im seeing hafizah today. yay, S and B again, spending time S have been going through a rough time and so is Queen B though S is going through a much more tougher time. Will be there for her.

bac k to finances, have i told you i hate the adult fares? oh come on, its really too much. have they ever thought what its like for a tertiary student to go through a huge and major change to adult fares once they’ve graduated? its unfair! we’re not in the wrong for graduating, we’re waiting for results! so isnt it fair that until results are out and universities have accepted, then we’re charged adult fares accordingly if we’re no longer studying? adult fares are taking every sweat of me from work. ive hardly have enough to spend because ive got so many to spend on travel and food and thank god, im an earlybird, i can pack lunch. or else, im working for nothing!

Just a sidenote, what does it feels like when someone you thought was so dear to you has now become someone you dont even remember what they are anymore?

xoxo,

pretense

pinkhearted — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 08:46:50 +0000

its been days after a new year. no resolutions, maybe some personal ones, but i’d rather keep them at heart. still havent decided on a proper organizer. when i get my hands on a pink one, i’ll make it pinkier, get it organized even further and make it mine. inspirations have been coming in from lyrics and books. and i’m still a queen B. headbands may be last summer for many but not for me. plus, saving up for education ahead, major life decisions to make. also, been doing alot of running, reading and listening to music. work is work but i guess work makes me realise some alone time is needed. then again, i hoped for something else but my heart just ignored it. i wouldnt wish to convey it sometimes.

pretend you’re happy when you’re blue.

it isnt very hard to do.

ironically it is hard. but its a matter of choice and situation. when things get tough and overwhelming, i felt my heart was about to burst, my brains would explode and tears welling up, with heat burning my cheeks and lips quivering. honestly, the heart aches but time still have to pass. and keep passing, waiting for no one. so pretense. yes. it happens on its own.

so many things on my mind, i wished i’d have the willpower to achieve everything that i want but some things are just so far away and intangible, im too afraid to think about it.

for the first time

pinkhearted — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 00:23:17 +0000

back to square one now.

i’ll have you scared to death

pinkhearted — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 11:52:40 +0000

there’s so many things in mind. no, they never change. its always packed and hectic and full of things. things ive said or things tive hide or things ive told some and others dont. they’re accumulating, overhwhelimg, too many, too much but what can i say? im not a normal person you think those plastered smiles meant happy ending. or perhaps i stood there looking calm when the thoughts are doing somersaults in my head, tiring and wearing me out, i swear i could die. die of exhaustion. and with new year tmr, whats new? ive been like this two years and then things still remain. whats good about new year? perhaps, a brand new chapter begins. but for me, it’ll never be a brand new chapter if the condition im living on is the same, no change, just stagnant, still treated like 8 year old when im 18. so whats new? take it back at your face. i dont want to hear brand new year or what ever shit. its gonna be the same damn cycle and only i know it. you’ll make friends, you’ll lose friends, you’ll have enemies, you’ll have cruelty, you’ll have lovers, you’ll have flirts, you’ll have backstabbers and liars and pretenders and happiness and sadness and excitement and new environment. but isnt that the same all year round?

2010, if it wasnt commando, there’s nothing else in my mind but dreadful year.

same cycle just different day.

pinky and barbie doll-ed 18th birthday

pinkhearted — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 16:31:09 +0000

i think my post title is ironic. 18th birthday? pink and barbie doll? (hehe still in mood for GP? nah!)

anywaaaaaays, its end of the week, and its back to mugging again for upcoming papers. thank Allah swt for planning to put my birthday on a friday so that i could take a short break to celebrate and get back to work on weekends. syukur alhamdulillah

so, GP is done (and no, i am not commenting what its like), MATHS is done (oh man, i’d rather do maths all the way… boo) and chem paper 3 is only a journey.

besides all that, i turned eighteen already. cant convey in words how my heart was the night before, as heavy as a stone. perhaps, i had something between me and god that i hoped things change for the better after turning a year older. i ought to thank god for allowing me to live up til this second while im typing the post.

18th birthday. because i love the colour pink and because i love barbie dolls but never own one when i was young, my friends sort of brought those memories back and made an ironically 18th birthday. which means, i think it sounds like an eighth year old birthday? haha. so what? i love it anyway

commando hero was a sweetheart coming in ribbon and i dont know why i never carry him along home since he is the present right? THEN the surprise in the locker. haha, BLUE. its because i said something that is blue is very nice…i kinda got it in BLUE. hahah:) afterwhich math paper. then, the surprise.. like the cake. it was omg, so sweet got my picture and li hui and noval in it! haha also, the cake smashing. (i cant believe this happened). then, the floorball girls cake. (i was like omg haha so sweet). then, i had to shower because its was ewwwwwww oily with the cake.

then i cant believe i met fza love. omg, i swear, the blindfolding was a karma getting back on me man. it was super scary as i had to walk in total blindness and commando hero was really rough but nice to carry me ard at certain places. i thank Allah once again for giving me eyesight. besides that, i got nice perfume and its pink too! and fza love gave me a customized board. got our pretty pictures on it hehehe and and just quality time with commando. after which, my bestie dropped by my place and gave me her own handmade cake. so sweet. thank you dear. and my mum cooked nice food, my family gave me cake, pink also! strawberry shortcake hehe. and thats about it.

125 birthday wishes on fb.

wonderful friends to send personal thanks to.

and the one and only commando hero. who gave me 1000 puzzle on the 9th. and who constantly carries me over puddles and grass patches. love you bits to pieces luv.

thank youuu to these people for making my 18th birthday a memorable one

P/S: i wanna go gym with pink top and BLUE tmr hehehehehehe